Thanks To Circe
by mtranc3
Summary: There's definitely something to this psychology business, Jim thought. That, and rabid women in heat. KirkSpock, slash.


**Title:** Thanks To Circe  
**Author:** mtranc3  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Spoilers:** Not any in particular, but I'd say Season 1, just to be on the safe side.  
**Summary:** _There's definitely something to this psychology business,_ Jim thought. _That, and rabid women in heat._**  
Pairing: **Kirk/Spock  
**Category:** A bit of everything: action-adventure, angst, drama, fluff...  
**Warnings:** Slash, Unbeta'd  
**Word count:** 6200  
**Author's notes:** This is my first attempt on Star Trek fanfiction. I have only watched season 1 so far, and read a handful of fics, therefore I'm quite new to both canon and fanon. If you spot anything grossly out of place, feel free to corerct me.  
**Feedback: **Yes, please!  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own these characters, no profit is being made.

_Captain's log, Stardate: 3308.4_

_On our way to planet Sigma VI-A of the S35 A-C complex, we picked up a distress signal coming from an uncharted asteroid, 2.1 light years away from our destination. Scanners report an O2/N atmosphere, and the presence of living creatures. I've decided to deviate from our course in order to investigate. Myself, Mr. Spock, and Dr. McCoy will be beaming down on the planet leaving Mr. Scott in command of the ship._

"Energise."

As they re-materialised on the surface of the planet Captain James Kirk, Mr. Spock, and Dr. McCoy found themselves in what could only be described as a tropical paradise: palm trees, and vegetation of many colourful varieties were growing in abundance, and the climate was comfortably warm. Jim's first thought was that this place could prove an ideal location for shore leave. A beeping sound divulged his attention to his communicator.

"Captain, Lt. Uhura here. Sir, we've stopped receiving the distress call."

"Are you certain, Miss Uhura?"

"Yes, sir, I've checked all frequencies, it's not there."

"Thank you, let me know if it comes up again. Captain out."

Dr. McCoy pursed his lips, "A trap, Jim?"

"We're already down here, so we might as well look around. Mr. Spock?"

The 1st commander looked up from his tricorder.

"Are you getting any readings?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary Captain. As our life sensors indicated, there indeed seems to be life on this planet, as to what form..."

His query was however answered, when they saw an old woman approaching. She was dressed in a long, elegant gown, and was carrying a golden cane with a transparent sphere on the top.

"Welcome to Lavinia, I am Neandra."

The Doctor looked at Jim quiestioningly, but the Captain bowed his head and greeted the woman.

"My name is James Kirk, I am Captain of the USS Enterprise of the United Federation of Planets. This is Mr. Spock, and Dr. McCoy." They both gave a polite nod, and the Captain continued "We received a distress signal coming from your planet..."

The old lady seemed puzzled. "We do not possess the means to alert others to our planet. I do not understand...'

Mr. Spock raised an eyebrow "The signal was pinpointed at this exact location..."

"Nevertheless, there must have been a mistake..."

The men looked at each other quizzically, and Neandra continued,

"I regret you had to come here for nothing, but please allow me to offer you our hospitality. We've had many visitors in the past, but it has been a long while since anyone last visited..."

Dr. McCoy and Mr. Spock moved closer to the Captain. "What do you make of this, Mr. Spock?" Jim asked keeping his voice low.

"The visitors she spoke of must not have been of the Federation, because there are no records of this planet. Therefore it could prove a good opportunity to enrich our knowledge for foreign cultures..."

"Bones?"

"She seems humanoid, but I'd have to get a closer look for a proper examination..."

The Captain shrugged, and turned to the woman "Neandra, we accept your hospitality, and we would be very glad if we could exchange information about our cultures."

She nodded smiling, and gestured them to follow her. The Captain switched on his communicator and explained their situation to Mr. Scott.

The party begun walking through a narrow path, often obscured by close-knit leaves and branches. Neandra was silent so the Captain tried to probe her for more information.

"How many of you live on this planet?"

"It's just my daughters and I. My husband died not long ago."

Mr. Spock raised his eyebrows questioningly, and Jim turned to the lady once again "You mean to say you're all alone in this planet?"

"There once were many of us..."

"What happened?"

The woman sighed. She looked sad for a moment, but shook her head and kept walking. "The women of my race were cursed to give birth only to women. My husband was the last man of our race."

Dr. McCoy's eyes widened "You are the last ones of your kind?"

Neandra smiled sadly. "We angered the Gods, this was our punishment. But look, this is our village. It has known many happy days, but alas, all good things must regretfully come to an end."

The village was a small accumulation of wooden houses, weathered, but apparently still in good condition. Colourful fabrics and ornaments were decorating the outside façades, but the cheerful effect was somewhat subdued by the eerie absence of inhabitants. They went round one of the biggest houses, and on the back there was a small garden. Six young girls were taking refuge in the shade of the trees, fanning themselves with leaves and talking idly.

When they saw their mother, they immediately stood up, and straightened their clothes. Jim noticed that they were all dressed in the same fashion; long, elaborate gowns and bared shoulders, but their faces were the most striking of all; all six girls were extremely beautiful, their hair was shinning, and their cheeks were a healthy pink.

Jim swallowed hard and Mr. Spock seemed to almost roll his eyes.

"Girls, we have visitors. These men came from a place far away. I trust you to show them the hospitality the Lavinians were always praised for."

The girls smiled shyly and approached. Dr. McCoy's mouth hung slightly open; they were even more beautiful from a closer view. His heartbeat sightly rose, and he found he had some difficulty breathing. Apparently, the Captain was in no better position, having three of these divine creatures around him. Only Mr. Spock looked normal, and engaged in earnest conversation with one of the girls.

Neandra came back carrying a tray with an assortment of fruits and drinks. They all sat down in one of the many chaises, and a party of sorts ensued. Some of the girls were really young when the planet last had any visitors and they didn't remember much. Therefore, they were naturally curious about their guests. Jim's talent for easy conversation had them 'oohing' and giggling, and soon the gathering became a full-fledged party. The youngest of the girls, Marysia, brought out an organ that looked like a harp, and started playing, and the girl who was talking with Dr. McCoy pulled him by the sleeve for a dance.

Mr. Spock observed alarmingly that his friends looked mildly inebriated. It couldn't have been due to their drinks, since they were fruit extracted, and the only logical explanation was that their out of character behaviour, was because of the presence of the girls. As to why, Mr. Spock was at loss to say. They were undeniable fine specimens, charming, polite and unquestionably beautiful, but other than that, there didn't seem to be anything extraordinary about them.

The girl who was talking to Mr. Spock frowned momentarily at the loss of his attention.

"Do you dance Mr. Spock?"

"Only if I can't avoid it" he replied and she looked puzzled.

Jim turned to them and smiled.

"Mr. Spock here is a man of logic, and there is no logic in dancing, is there Mr. Spock?"

"Quite the contrary, Captain. Dancing in the ancient times was used as a means to precede other activities, such as tribal rituals, fighting, or even reproduction... it is because of the energy that courses through the body while one is dancing that prepares it for said activities. When society evolved, and with it, ethical boundaries, dancing evolved as well, to a social activity..."

The girls burst out into giggles, and Mr. Spock looked mildly affronted. Jim shook his head laughingly.

"Whatever shall we do with you Mr. Spock?" he asked and then pulled one of the girls for a dance.

Spock knew of Jim's soft spot for the opposite gender, but his actions were a bit odd. The doctor's as well. Well, he always found Dr. McCoy odd, but at that time even more so.

Neandra gestured her daughter to make room, and sat elegantly beside him.

"You are different from your friends, Mr. Spock. You do not seem to enjoy the company of my daughters..."

"They are charming, and you have raised them well, given the circumstances" he offered. Neandra smiled at him, and asked him about his culture. They begun talking and it was after a while that Mr. Spock noticed the Captain had left the garden. They would have to beam up soon, and his absence was slightly alarming. Dr. McCoy was lying with down with his head resting in one of the girl's lap, and he was snoozing softly. Mr. Spock scoffed at the sight and extracted himself from Neandra's company.

"I'm afraid I must go and find the Captain, it is time that we left."

"Are you sure you wish to disturb him?

Spock gave her a curious look "I'm afraid, I do not understand."

She shook her head knowingly "Best to wait..." but Mr. Spock had already switched on his communicator.

"Mr. Spock to Captain Kirk... come in Captain."

There was no reply and that definitely qualified for an alarming situation in Spock's mind. He set out intend to find out what was going on.

A rustling sound was coming from what looked like a clearing, and Mr. Spock approached apprehensively. What he saw stopped him dead on his tracks. Jim, naked from the waist above, had one of the girls pushed up against a tree, and was kissing her wildly, trying to rid of her clothes. She was moaning appreciatively, and Spock realized what Neandra had meant back in the garden. He quickly made to leave but the movement caught Jim's attention and he spotted him. His eyes widened in surprise. Spock shook his head as an apology for the intrusion and left quickly. It was only after he had gone back to the garden that he stopped to catch his breath. The place was deserted save from Dr. McCoy and the girl who was now sleeping as well.

Spock heard steps and saw the Captain coming out of the bushes. His shirt was back on, but his hair was dishevelled.

"Captain, I -" Mr. Spock started, but Jim raised his hand. "No need for explanation, Mr. Spock. I only wanted to inform you that I've decided we will be spending the night here. We will beam back up to the ship in the morning. I've already informed the Enterprise."

If Mr. Spock was surprised by this, he didn't show it.

"May I inquire the reason for our staying, Captain?"

"No, Mr. Spock, you may not." Jim replied in a voice indicating that the subject was closed, before disappearing into the bushes once more.

Spock was really puzzled now. The Captain may be overly influenced by the opposite sex, but he was also a disciplined man... his actions didn't make sense at all.

Spock gave Dr. McCoy last glance before deciding on a course of action. He took out his communications device.

"Lt Uhura, Mr. Spock here. Please inform Miss. Chapel to get ready and beam down immediately."

"Is there anything the matter sir?"

"I do not know yet, Miss Uhura. Spock out."

He stood waiting for a while, until a flashing light alerted him to Miss. Chapel's transportation. She had beamed down in the middle of the garden, and the first thing she saw upon re-materializing was Dr. McCoy sleeping peacefully on the lap of a young girl. She gave them a surprised look and made her way towards Mr. Spock, glancing back at the odd sight, to confirm she had seen right.

"Mr. Spock! What is Dr. McCoy doing?"

"That is exactly what you are here to find our Miss. Chapel. I see you have your medical tricorder with you. Now if you please, examine the girl and see if there's anything out of the ordinary about her, but try not to wake her up."

The nurse nodded and took out her scanner. She knelt carefully next to the girl and run the scanner once all over her. She gave the tricorder a disbelieving look, and run the scanner once more. She stood up and went back to Mr. Spock.

"Everything looks normal, except one thing..."

That was what Mr. Spock was expecting to hear, he gestured for Miss. Chapel to continue.

"The glands that produce a hormone called pheromone, are extremely over-active."

"If I am not mistaken Miss. Chapel this hormone is involved in the attraction of the opposite sex for the purposes of mating."

"Yes, but at these amounts..."

"They could almost act as an enchantment." Mr. Spock finished the sentence for her.

"That would very well explain Dr, McCoy's and the Captain's behaviour. The Vulcan physiology is quite different, the female do not secrete such hormones, therefore we do not have the receptors for them, that's why I wasn't influenced."

Miss. Chapel seemed to understand, and gave Dr. McCoy another look, softer this time.

"Wake Dr. McCoy up and explain, but do not wake the girl, and keep him away from her. I shall go find the Captain."

"Yes Mr. Spock."

Mr. Spock set out for the clearing once more, weary at what he mighty encounter this time, but the situation had changed; it seemed like the women on this planet had a hidden agenda.

To his relief, the Captain and the girl were merely sitting on the ground. The girl was asleep and Jim was looking at her lovingly, running his fingers through her hair.

Mr. Spock bent down next to them and gestured for Jim to follow him. Jim looked a bit disgruntled for a moment, but stood up and they moved a good distance away from the girl so as not to wake her up.

"Well? What is it Mr. Spock?"

"I have a very interesting piece of information, Captain. Miss. Chapel examined one of the girls -"

Jim looked up sharply "Miss. Chapel? What is she doing here?"

"I asked for her Captain."

"I did not give permission for her beaming down Mr. Spock."

"I know, Captain, but I deemed it necessary given yours and Dr. McCoy's strange behaviour..."

"Strange?" Jim whispered-yelled incredulously. "This," he gestured between himself and the girl "is only human."

Mr. Spock pursed his lips "If you'll allow me to finish Captain..."

Jim folded his arms but remained silent.

"Upon examination Miss. Chapel found out that these women secrete large amounts of pheromone, a hormone that's usually secreted when females of a species try to attract a mate. They act as subconscious signals, but at these quantities they can evidently directly influence a man's behaviour."

The Captain furrowed his eyebrows as the information sunk in.

"Neandra said it herself that they are the last of their kind, they might be using us in order to continue their line."

Jim was starting to feel shaky. He did recall feeling a persistent tugging when he was with the girl -Ilianna-, could it be the result of these hormones?

He exhaled, making up his mind. "Come on, we must find the others, and get back to the ship." When Mr. Spock wasn't looking he gave the sleeping girl once last glance.

A funny sight greeted them once they were back to the garden; Miss. Chapel was trying to contain a giddy Dr. McCoy who was yelling that he wanted to keep dancing. The girl that was with him was trying to take his hands but Miss. Chapel was batting them away.

"What's this commotion? Karin, stop!"

They all turned to the direction of the voice; Neandra was standing in the entrance of the garden looking vexed. The girl released Dr. McCoy immediately and went by her side.

Jim gave her a resentful look. "I would thank you for your hospitality were you not trying to manipulate us... Me and my crew are leaving this instant." He made to switch on his communicator, but Neandra started him by hitting her cane on the ground twice.

"You are not to leave. You are to stay here with us."

All of her daughters appeared in the garden one by one, walking slowly, their flawless faces darkening in the waning light. Jim felt his concentration wavering again, as primal instincts took over.

"Captain..." Mr. Spock said hurriedly, but Jim had a predatory look on his face as the girl from before appeared out of the trees.

Spock decided to take matters to his own hands and took out his own communicator.

"NO!" Neandra screamed. "Take it away from him!" He was too quick for them though:

"Miss Uhura, lock in on us and beam us up immediately. Have a medical team stand by."

"You cannot leave!" Neandra screamed again, but the rest of her words were lost as the world around them begun to dissolve.

…...

"...full report will follow." The yeoman nodded and left the bridge.

Captain Kirk turned to Mr. Sulu "I'm leaving you in my stead for a while Mr. Sulu, the good doctor insists that I drop by the sickbay."

"Aye, aye, Sir." Mr. Sulu replied smiling, and Jim set off for the sickbay. Mr. Spock was already there, although he had argued with the doctor that since he clearly hadn't been influenced by those creatures, there was nothing to be examined for.

When Jim entered the sickbay, Mr. Spock was lying on a bed, and Dr. McCoy was looking at his readings on the signs board above the bed.

"Well, everything seems to be in order..."

"Naturally, Doctor. After all, I wasn't the one that was dancing as if, like you humans put it, 'there was no tomorrow'..."

Bones looked ready to burst out in indignation and Jim gave a cough-laugh.

"Jim." The doctor gestured him in, ignoring the laugh. "Sit over there and take off your shirt. We need to see if your hormones are back to normal levels."

The Captain rolled his eyes but complied. He saw with the corner of his eye Spock looking away when he took off his shirt, and the movement puzzled him.

The doctor took his scanner and went over to examine him, but was interrupted by the nurse's voice on the intercommunication requesting his presence in the surgery room.

"You are free to go Mr. Spock. I'll be back in a moment Jim. Don't leave" he added for good measure.

"You know how I love being in the sickbay, Bones," Jim joked and watched the doctor go.

Mr. Spock made to leave as well, but Jim stopped him. He struggled internally for a moment, not knowing how to say it.

"Mr. Spock, about the incident..."

"No need for explanation, Captain." Mr. Spock hastened to add.

"I just wanted to say that if there's any embarrassment to be felt, it should be on my part."

Mr. Spock shook his head, but kept his look fixed on a distant point on the wall. "There's no need for embarrassment in either side. Your actions were clearly influenced by the prolonged exposure to the hormone, and need I remind you that embarrassment is an emotion and as such, I'm incapable of experiencing it."

Jim nodded slowly, deciding not to push the matter further, and allowed his first officer to return to his duties. But something about Spock's rigid manner made him question whether he was indeed as comfortable with what happened as he claimed to be.

...

_He was trying to make his way out of the dark forest, but no matter which direction he was taking, he seemed to be arriving at the same clearing over and over again. Someone appeared through the trees and moved towards him, but Spock wasn't alarmed. His body instead tensed up in anticipation, but the surroundings suddenly changed and he found himself sitting by his console on the bridge. He heard a yelping noise and turned to find the Captain advancing towards Lt. Uhura, with a strange gleam in his eyes. Lt. Uhura just smiled and opened her arms. Spock then gazed away, and sat on the Captain's chair trying to focus on the screen. The noises behind him stopped and he felt fingers threading through his hair and stopping on the side of his forehead, applying slight pressure there, and a commanding voice saying 'Become on with me' __before he woke up with a start._

Spock lay on the bed panting for a moment; the dream was rapidly slipping away from his conscious grip. There was no doubt however, that the other person throughout the dream was Jim, and that it was probably a result of what he had witnessed on that planet. But why should he dream of something like that when he and the Captain had already made amends of sorts on what Spock had walked in?

He decided that it must be the peculiar psychological effect of having a situation inflating when one is trying to ignore it, or suppress it, that was taking a toll on his human part. And Spock _did_ try to ignore it when the image popped in at the most inappropriate times, and having a Vulcan half made him very good at ignoring it. That was probably why it was manifesting through his subconscious and into his dreams.

Spock sighed for a second, and then frowned again; he wasn't entirely satisfied with the explanation, but it would have to do until he found a more sufficient one.

…...

Jim sat up from his chair at the bridge and turned to his first officer,

"Mr. Spock have you retrieved the information I asked for, from the library?"

"Yes, Captain" Spock answered "I've put all the relevant information I could find into this tape.

Jim moved to take the tape, but Mr. Spock was quicker than him, and left it on the arm of his seat. Jim could swear that this was the Vulcan equivalent of flinching, and coming from Mr. Spock perplexed him even more.

And it wasn't the first time Spock had acted like this either; when Jim would go near his console to see something, Spock would immediately sit up and move away. When they happened to take the elevator together, Spock would stand in the far corner, and when Jim suggested a game of three-dimensional chess, Spock would always turn him down.

If Jim wasn't mistaken, the reason for Spock's strange behaviour had to be the incident on that asteroid a couple of weeks ago, but as to why Spock was reacting so badly, Jim could not answer.

He had also felt embarrassed himself, especially because it was Spock who was involved, but Jim was a military man, and tended to easily overcome sensitivities like that.

He gave Mr. Spock another glance, he seemed to be deeply absorbed by his small screen.

"Mr. Spock?"

Spock looked up from the console, to a spot somewhere above the Captain's head.

"Come with me please, there are some matters we need to discuss."

Spock raised his eyebrows, but he nodded in agreement.

"Steady as she goes Mr. Sulu."

"Yes, Sir."

They left the bridge and went to the debriefing room. Jim gestured for Spock to have a seat, but he remained standing.

"Mr. Spock, I'm asking you like this, because aside from being my first officer, you are also my friend. Now is there anything you wanted to discuss with me? Anything at all?"

Spock gave him a curious look "I don't think I understand Captain..."

"These past few days, your behaviour towards me seems altered, and don't try to convince me otherwise Mr. Spock, we both know it's true."

"Sir, I continue not to understand what you're trying to say..." Spock replied, but his expression had stopped being curious, and looked rather pained.

"Well, let me clarify it for you Mr. Spock: every time I come near you, you all but jump and move away. You seem to flinch from my presence and my touch as if I had some contagious disease! Now I thought that if I had done something to make you act this way, you would tell me..."

"No, Captain. It's not your fault."

"Then? What is it? Spock, you do realize you are talking to me now and not the Captain, don't you?"

Spock nodded and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, he looked more determined and less shaky, and started talking in that even voice of his;

"It would seem Jim, that whenever you are in close proximity to me, my body is having strange reactions. This is no doubt due to my unfortunate timing when I interrupted a very intimate moment between you and the girl on that planet."

Jim made to say something, but Spock continued in that same monotonous voice;

"Psychology would explain that this is a result of an uncomfortable situation that when subconsciously repressed on my part, it magnifies tenfold, and manifests itself through weird bodily reactions. A common, if not disturbing, psychological state that has been bearing down on my human side."

"Forget about psychology for a second!" Jim said flailing his arms. "Are you telling me that you feel... _things_ for me when I'm around?"

"Captain, I am also a Vulcan, and thus incapable of feeling the _things_ you are implying."

"So you keep telling us Mr. Spock, but there you have it!"

Jim sat abruptly on one of the chairs, rubbing his temples. He had guessed it might have been something like that, but not to the extend Spock indicated.

"I assure you, I no more want this than you do, but it has been evidently growing worse, and I have considered resigning from my post should it become problematic for the performance of my duties..."

Jim then looked up at his first officer, and for the first time wondered how bad this must be for Spock who always prided himself of being rid of human emotions, and the sometimes undignified situations they put one in. He refused to wonder though what this could mean for their personal friendship, as it was too horrible to even contemplate it.

"No one is resigning Mr. Spock... Have you by any chance thought of talking to the ship's psychiatrist? She is sworn to confidentiality, maybe it would help..."

"Out of the question, Captain" Spock replied rigidly, and then added more softly "talking to you was difficult enough..."

"I understand Mr. Spock... then perhaps... may I suggest another alternative?"

Spock looked up while Jim moved in front of him. "Yes, Captain?"

"A mind-meld. Maybe if you connect to my mind, this _state_" he waved his hand between them, "might dissolve, and your reaction around me returned to normal."

Jim could hardly believe he was talking like that to his first officer of all people; it reminded him of a time during his days in the academy, when one of his friends' little sister had developed a crush on him. But he wasn't prepared to lose the best officer in the fleet, not to mention his close friend, over something like that.

Spock might have seen the urgency in his face, because he nodded slowly. "It could work, but Jim you must know that a mind-meld is very personal. I'd be looking inside the most hidden parts of your mind, and the same goes for you... one's mind has many dark places, that one isn't even aware of, so whatever I stumble on, should not make you feel uncomfortable of embarrassed afterwards..."

Jim gave him a small smile "I thought it was _your_ embarrassment that we were trying to remedy Mr. Spock..."

Spock rolled his eyes, looking somewhat like his usual self again, before he raised his hand and touched the meld point on Jim's temple.

Jim closed his eyes and felt as if he had fallen through a black hole in a sea where his identity was slowly being dissolved. The next time he opened them, he was back on the planet where everything had begun from. He saw the clearing and then himself and the girl, and realized that he was seeing it through Spock's memory. He could hear the groans and moaning, and felt greatly embarrassed. Spock's voice sounded from somewhere, telling him that he shouldn't feel bad, but he turned away from the sight, only to come across something even more disturbing; the memory had changed and it was Spock pushed up against the tree, grabbing at the hem of Jim's shirt and twisting around his fingers, while dream-Jim looked as if he was devouring his neck. Dream-Spock made an uncharacteristic noise that sounded like a moan, and turned his neck slightly to allow dream-Jim more space.

Jim didn't know why, but he couldn't take his eyes off his other self as he was biting and licking dream-Spock's skin. It was fascinating he thought, using one of his first officer's favourite words. Fascinating in all its strangeness and extremely arousing; Jim couldn't deny that. Besides, his thoughts were open for Spock to see too. But Spock was now trying to obscure the image, to hide it, and Jim felt a sharp ache as he was being pushed out and into himself once again, the darkness turning into shuttering light.

He opened his eyes, and found himself on the floor of the room, and Mr. Spock kneeling beside him, looking drained.

"Spock, are you okay?"

"I should be the one to be asking this, Captain. After all, I'm not new to mind-melds."

Jim stood up and sat heavily on a chair. he felt a bit disoriented and drained. When he got his bearings, and caught his breath, he turned to Spock once more.

"Spock, is that... is that how you feel?" Jim didn't even know how to phrase it.

"Captain, - Jim... I am deeply sorry you had to witness that. The mind-meld was obviously a mistake. I'd hoped I'd be more disciplined than that..." he trailed off and stood up.

"I will submit my resignation as soon as possible."

At his words, Jim felt a jolt of frustration run through his body,

"Didn't I just say that no one of resigning? Can't we work though this Spock?"

"I'm afraid Jim that it will make our work situation quite difficult, and I hope you understand now, why seeking help from the ship's psychiatrist would be very awkward. I simply see no other logical solution than my resignation..."

"Dammit Spock!" Jim yelled, banging his hand on the table and standing up. "Didn't you hear me?"

They were in close proximity now, and Jim had a deja vu of Spock's daydream. His breath was suddenly coming out short, and his arms felt strangely empty. He braced his hand on the wall next to Spock's head, trying to calm himself, and the 1st officer, not looking better himself, said weakly "See what I mean now, Jim?" and then opened the door and left the room. Jim stood at that spot for a long time after Spock had gone.

A week had passed since the meld incident, and although Mr. Spock didn't bring up his resignation again, his behaviour became more and more rigid near Jim. The crew had noticed it, and the Captain went to great pains to convince Dr. McCoy that everything was all right between himself and Mr. Spock.

But the less Jim interacted with Spock during the day, the more he found himself interacting with him during the night in his dreams. At first, he dismissed them as remnants from the meld, but they became more and more elaborate, almost having a life of their own. And each time Jim would wake up shamefully aroused, as if he was a teenager again, and he would relieve himself thinking back on them, trying to retrieve every detail. And then, every time he'd enter the bridge and glimpse at his 1st officer, memories of the dreams would plague him, affecting his concentration and thus his commanding ability. If Spock was like that too, then the ship's two highest ranking officers were not fit for their jobs, and he'd have to rectify this situation soon.

However, if Jim wanted to be honest with himself, it wasn't the ship's best interest he had at heart, but his own selfish desires. James Kirk wasn't used to being denied what he wanted, and now he had found out that he _wanted_ to explore this new facet of his and Spock's relationship.

The first officer had regressed back into himself though, as if he was trying to erase the human Spock, and leave only the Vulcan part. He became cold, and formal, and Kirk wouldn't know _how_ to approach him even if he wanted to.

The answer presented itself in one of the psychology texts Jim had taken to reading in his spare time inside his quarters. It was an article about autistic people, and how the best way to approach them was by means of a thing they were interested in, like art, or numbers.

He cornered his first officer when he was leaving his quarters and gestured him back in.

"Mr. Spock, there is something I need to discuss with you..."

Spock folded his arms, but replied complacently,

"Certainly, Captain. I am, as you say, 'all ears'."

Jim didn't smile at the pun, because he knew Spock was trying to lighten up the atmosphere on purpose.

"Tell me Mr. Spock, when you said that the logical solution to our situation, was your resigning, didn't it occur to you that it wasn't the only solution available?"

"Not the only one, Captain?" Spock was openly curious now and had dropped the rigid face and looked up on Jim with that inquiring expression that Jim always found delightful.

"I'll come to that in a second Mr. Spock, but please answer my question first; your suggestion for submitting your resignation was based on the grounds that you were making me feel uncomfortable and you wanted to spare both of us the awkwardness, in favour of the ship's smooth operation, correct?"

"Yes, Captain, that is correct."

"But say, if the situation didn't make me feel embarrassed, would your resignation still make sense?"

Spock nodded, "Yes, Captain. There would still be the matter of me being..." he stopped and sighed "I don't know quite how to put it."

"No need Mr. Spock, let's just say that I understand, and that you are not alone in that boat."

Spock turned to him sharply. Jim's pleasant smile from before was gone, and he was looking at Spock meaningfully: "Would there still be basis for your resignation?"

"Captain... I..." Spock started, but Jim gestured him silent once more,

"Is there a regulation against two officers on the fleet, serving in the same establishment of pursuing an intimate relationship with each other, should they wish to?"

Spock shook his head negatively, "No, Captain."

"And is there a regulation" Jim continued, "against two people of the same sex pursuing a relationship with each other, should they wish to?"

"No, Captain, not since the Act declaring homosexuality legal in military ranks was voted in the middle of the 21st century."

"Then logically, there is no reason why _we_ shouldn't, is there?"

"Yes, Sir, there is actually another reason..."

Jim who was caught up in the triumph of his argument, looked downcast for a second.

"I thought that it might ruin our friendship, Jim..." Spock said softly.

"What would?" Jim asked, but his first officer lowered his head, and Jim got it.

"_That_, can only add to it, Mr. Spock" he said and put both hands on either side of Spock's face, running his fingers on that skin, which felt as soft as it looked. Something squirmed pleasurably in his stomach as he saw his first officer closing his eyes in anticipation.

_There's definitely something to this psychology business_, he decided as he leaned in. _That, and rabid women in heat._

The End


End file.
